I think I jinxed myself in my newsletter when I said that I hope your kid\’s don\’t get everything they want for Christmas.
Because I didn\’t get what I wanted either! I was looking forward to a family vacation and spending time relaxing and catching up on needed sleep and relationship building. But pick axing the ice out of my driveway aggravated a bulging disk in my neck and I ended up going on vacation with ice packs and pain killers, only to leave 5 days early to get home to my own bed and doctors to look for relief from the incessant nerve pain.
I have had a lot of time to think about disappointment and pain these past two weeks. And I\’ve decided I do not like it one bit. Then I identified the things that are helping me get through it, and how I have seen hundreds of others use these same techniques in handling their own struggles.
#1 Mental Toughness – they have found that letting your mind dissolve into mulling over the disappointment, the injustice, the fear of the situation only paralyzes a person, where deciding to stay creative, hopeful, and proactive actually moves you through the struggle light years faster.
#2 Getting Proactive – laying around feeling frustrated and in turmoil can be alleviated in great part by picking up a phone, doing a little research on-line, asking a trusted friend, etc. Just knowing you are moving towards freedom from this situation can be a great pain killer.
#3 Finding Support – I was so relieved when my family came home to take care of me, and just having my wife make some calls on my behalf was healing to my mental state. Find someone who can be an experienced support and guide to you, and this is not just someone to validate that you are suffering. They need to be in a better place than you are to be of any real value in your crisis.
#4 Time Heals – learn to project yourself into the future, understanding that it will not always be this way. \”Change is constant\”, and that can most definitely be a positive when you are in pain.
#5 Have Faith – tap into your spiritual sources for strength. Studies have repeatedly shown the undeniable power that prayer has in healing after surgery, or during an extended illnesses in fighting depression. Use your own beliefs and trust in a greater power to help you in the inevitable dark times.
So I take it back…I DO hope you get what you want…especially if it takes you out of pain and suffering!
To Family Success and Happiness!
Tim Thayne, Ph.D.
P.S. Bringing teens home is a great time of anxiety and pain for most parents, and having a transition plan goes a long way in alleviating that. If you have a family that could benefit from expert guidance and experience, please give us a call. We only have a few days left on our Holiday Scholarship in your Program/Practice name…give that discount to one of your great families.