Proximity and Personal Relationships

When we were newly weds, we lived in an apartment complex that was in a square shape, with a grassy courtyard in the middle.  We were all facing IN.  We knew everyone in the complex.  We were all starving students, many starting their families, and we depended on each other for a lot of things; food, empathy, entertainment, advice and companionship.  It was a golden period of friendship. 
 
When my sister was building her home, their family lived in a 5th wheel trailer for nearly 5 months.  She had 4 little children at the time.  They were thinking it would be a huge trial.  However, once they moved into their beautiful big home, the children were scared and lonely and asked if they could move back to the trailer!  They missed being close.
 
There is a parallel between physical closeness and relationship closeness.  I see it all the time in my counseling.  When couples first come in, they sit on opposite sides of the couch, leaning away from each other.  As they start to open up to one another, and feel their closeness and love increase, they shift IN  to each other on the couch, till they are hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder, usually holding hands.
 
So if you are finding your relationships feeling too distant, try physically putting yourself in settings that require more contact.  Then use your best efforts to connect in positive ways.  If you will resist the urge to fight more because of proximity (and you can avoid this if you choose to), you will almost automatically begin to see the love and closeness increase. 
 
We are on a family vacation this week traveling through the national parks in Southern Utah and Northern Arizona…in an RV.  I’m already seeing, admiring and appreciating little things about my children just because I’m not distracted and am close enough to hear and see them clearly.
 
By the way…it’s the 100th anniversary of RVing in the United States.  One hundred years of forced family togetherness!