Solution Focus Does Work For Families

Today I\’ve decided to share a blog post I wrote on the Family Bridge of a new family that I\’m working with.  I was in their home yesterday for the first time.  Just as in all families, I found that this family had many strengths and exceptions to the predominant problem story that is blocking their vision.  These exceptions are times when the \”normal\” didn\’t occur.  I thought you might appreciate seeing the solution focused nature of the work we do and be reminded that every family can benefit from this kind of focus.

Hi [Smiths],

I really enjoyed visiting your home and getting to know your family better yesterday.  You are a great family and I\’m excited to be able to work with you!

Yesterday we talked about many things, but there was one principle that stood out to me as the most important and most hope producing principle for your family, and that is \”Focus on the Overlooked Exceptions in Order to Make Them More of the Rule!\” 

You shared with me that there is a great exception to the family struggles you experience that takes place every year when you go on vacation to the beach for two weeks.  There\’s no doubt that those special occasions make it easier to experience the relationship vision you have as a family.  But the greatest value will be to identify and then bring home pieces of that experience to the day-to-day world of your home and family.  I\’m convinced that there are exceptional words said, activities engaged in, patience exhibited, and communication that takes place while you are at the beach that make these excursions highlights in your family culture.  Thankfully those are also things you can transport back from the beach to [Chicago, Illinois].  Isn\’t that great news! 

So here\’s my invitation to you.  From now until the time you come home from the trip, identify and focus on those things that are working, in whatever setting they may occur.  Then become convinced that the warmth or success can be bottled up and let loose, even if just at 10% of what you created at the beach, in your home.  Think of the difference even 10% would make!  Exciting to think about isn\’t it?!

I absolutely believe in the power of focusing on the exception to the problem story.  It can change the whole look and feel of a relationship.

To Your Family Success and Happiness!