UPCOMING WEBINAR: "Effective Rules & Consequences"
APRIL 30TH AT 6PM MDT

How to Keep it Together When Things Come Apart

A few months back, Homeward Bound Clinical Director, Kelly Olsen and I recorded a podcast discussing the challenges that arise when a teen returns home from treatment.

All families experience different phases of recovery that can be difficult to navigate through. One particularly challenging phase is the testing phase. During this phase, there will often be a resurgence of old behavior three to four weeks after the teen comes home. To date, 100% of our families have gone into this testing phase and it’s essential to understand that it’s natural and normal.

Prepare for the Testing Phase

Part of your preparation for the testing phase is understanding and recognizing it for what it is. Parents falsely assume that maybe things haven’t changed and that they’re back to square one. But the reality is that family members are testing each other.

Testing a new reality involves trying to understand new boundaries, and it’s a messy process. When parents start to change routines after treatment, it’s scary for kids because it’s new territory. Also, as you increase consistency with the new changes, the first response will usually be increased chaos.

There will not be a perfect path where every single thing goes right. You will face challenges, but as you approach the situation with the right perspective, you will avoid the impulse to abandon the change and persevere.

Be sure to also prepare by strengthening yourself and finding a home team. Don’t be afraid to reach out when you feel shaky. If you’re prepared with an informed and empowered support system, you’ll be set up for greater success.

Find Your Support System

Having a home team, a professional–or preferably both–can give you the perspective and strength to keep moving forward. It can feel isolating having a teen in treatment because it isn’t talked about in the open very easily, but secrecy is toxic. If you get stuck in that secret-keeping, it’ll be nearly impossible to move forward.

Although reaching out to others will involve some risk and vulnerability, you will find an added measure of strength in their ideas and encouragement and increase your chances of success by tapping into the power of human connection. It’s important to remember there are people who love and support you and want your teen and your family to succeed.

Be Patient with the Timing

It can be hard to persevere through the testing phase when you’re not sure when or if it will ever end. Each family is different so you can’t predict exactly how long this phase will last. Look for markers of change rather than focusing on the setbacks. Small positive changes–like shorter arguments, less recovery time from mistakes, and moments of connection–are indicators that you are moving in the right direction.

If you would like to hear more about this topic, you can listen to the podcast episode “Recognizing the Testing Phase” with Dr. Tim Thayne and Homeward Bound Clinical Director, Kelly Olsen on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

82 thoughts on “How to Keep it Together When Things Come Apart”

  1. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
    Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for
    you? Plz respond as I’m looking to construct my own blog
    and would like to know where u got this from. many thanks

  2. I will immediately clutch your rss as I can’t find
    your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly allow me know in order that I may just subscribe.
    Thanks.

  3. I just like the valuable info you supply to your
    articles. I will bookmark your blog and test again right here frequently.

    I’m rather sure I’ll be told plenty of new stuff proper here!

    Good luck for the following!

  4. I’m curious to find out what blog system
    you have been using? I’m experiencing some minor security issues with my latest website and I’d like to find something more secure.
    Do you have any solutions?

  5. whoah this weblog is fantastic i love studying your posts.
    Keep up the good work! You understand, a lot of individuals are hunting around for this info, you can aid them greatly.

  6. Hello! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to check it out.
    I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking
    and will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog and great design.

  7. My brother suggested I might like this website.

    He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not
    imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  8. Link exchange is nothing else but it is just placing the other person’s weblog link on your page at appropriate place and other
    person will also do similar in support of you.

  9. Admiring the time and effort you put into your website and in depth information you
    offer. It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same out of date rehashed
    material. Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  10. You could certainly see your skills in the work you write.
    The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe.

    All the time go after your heart.

  11. It’s hard to come by experienced people in this particular subject, however, you seem
    like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

  12. I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website.
    I’m hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts by you in the future as well.

    In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired
    me to get my own, personal blog now 😉

  13. constantly i used to read smaller articles or reviews which
    also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this article which I
    am reading at this place.

  14. Appreciating the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.
    It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the
    same unwanted rehashed material. Fantastic read! I’ve saved your site
    and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google
    account.

  15. I just like the helpful information you provide for your
    articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again right here regularly.

    I’m rather certain I’ll be told a lot of new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the following!

  16. This article provides clear idea in favor of the new
    users of blogging, that actually how to do blogging and site-building.

  17. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website
    yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz answer back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got
    this from. appreciate it

  18. I know this web page provides quality dependent posts and
    other material, is there any other website which gives these kinds
    of things in quality?

  19. Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established
    blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog?

    I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast.
    I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start.
    Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Thank you

  20. Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this site daily, this web page is truly
    fastidious and the people are in fact sharing
    pleasant thoughts.

  21. hello!,I really like your writing so so much! proportion we communicate extra approximately your post on AOL?
    I need an expert on this area to resolve my problem.

    May be that’s you! Taking a look forward to look
    you.

  22. Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?

    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is magnificent, let alone the content!

  23. Ԝow, this artіcle is fastiԁious, my sster is analyzing these
    kindѕ of things, sso I am going to tell her.

  24. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the long run and it’s time to be
    happy. I’ve read this put up and if I could I want to counsel you some attention-grabbing things or advice.
    Maybe you could write next articles regarding
    this article. I wish to read more things approximately it!

  25. Solche ETFs gibt es bei Brokern, die besonders auf den Handel mit ETFs spezialisiert sind, unter anderem bei Trade Republic und Scalable Capital.
    Der Handel mit Bitcoin funktioniert im Grunde nach dem gleichen Prinzip wie der Handel mit Wertpapieren.

  26. Great blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring
    writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a
    little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid
    option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused ..
    Any tips? Many thanks!

  27. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your
    post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers
    to write content available for you? I wouldn’t
    mind publishing a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write in relation to
    here. Again, awesome weblog!

  28. Hello, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam feedback?

    If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you
    can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving
    me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.

  29. Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It actually was once a amusement account it.
    Glance complex to far delivered agreeable from you! By the way, how could we keep in touch?

  30. Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it
    but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some ideas for
    your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great
    website and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

  31. Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for
    your blog. You have some really good articles and I think I would be a
    good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write some content for your blog
    in exchange for a link back to mine. Please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

    Thanks!

  32. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added”
    checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove people from that
    service? Many thanks!

  33. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after
    I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again.
    Anyhow, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  34. of course like your website but you need to take a look
    at the spelling on several of your posts. A
    number of them are rife with spelling problems and I
    to find it very bothersome to inform the reality nevertheless I’ll certainly come back
    again.

  35. What’s Going down i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found
    It absolutely useful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to contribute & assist different users like its aided me.
    Good job.

  36. I don’t even understand how I ended up here, however I believed this
    post was good. I do not recognize who you are but definitely you are
    going to a famous blogger when you are not already. Cheers!

  37. Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice even as you amend your website,
    how can i subscribe for a weblog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal.
    I have been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vibrant
    clear concept

  38. I am sure this post has touched all the internet
    users, its really really pleasant piece of writing on building up new weblog.

  39. A person necessarily lend a hand to make
    significantly articles I’d state. That is the very first time I frequented your website page and so far?
    I amazed with the analysis you made to create this actual
    put up amazing. Excellent job!

  40. You really make it appear so easy together with your presentation however I to find this topic to be actually something
    which I feel I’d by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and extremely vast for
    me. I am taking a look ahead on your next put up, I’ll attempt
    to get the cling of it!

  41. Right here is the perfect web site for anyone who really wants
    to find out about this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that
    I really would want to…HaHa). You certainly put a fresh spin on a topic that has been discussed for years.
    Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!

  42. Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting
    more from this web site, and your views are
    good in support of new visitors.

  43. Heya! I realize this is somewhat off-topic however
    I had to ask. Does managing a well-established website like yours require a lot of work?
    I am brand new to writing a blog however I do write in my diary everyday.

    I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and views online.
    Please let me know if you have any kind of suggestions or tips for new aspiring blog owners.
    Appreciate it!

  44. Greetings! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a
    new project in a community in the same niche.

    Your blog provided us beneficial information to work
    on. You have done a extraordinary job!

  45. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
    Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how could
    we communicate?

  46. I’m really impressed along with your writing skills and also with the format to your weblog.
    Is this a paid subject or did you modify it your
    self? Either way stay up the nice quality writing, it’s uncommon to peer a nice blog like this one today..

  47. I was curious if you ever thought of changing the structure of your blog?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way
    of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

  48. Remarkable issues here. I am very glad to peer your post.

    Thank you so much and I’m having a look ahead to contact you.
    Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

  49. Hello everyone, it’s my first pay a quick visit at this
    website, and article is really fruitful in support of me,
    keep up posting such posts.

  50. Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to
    say that I’ve really loved surfing around your weblog posts.
    After all I will be subscribing for your feed and I hope you write once more soon!

  51. Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored at work so I decided to
    browse your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you
    present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
    I’m amazed at how fast your blog loaded on my mobile ..

    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, great blog!

  52. Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will return once
    again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich
    and continue to help other people.

  53. I have been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you
    did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  54. Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
    I really like the knowledge you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
    I’m amazed at how fast your blog loaded on my mobile ..

    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, awesome blog!

  55. Excellent blog here! Additionally your website lots up very fast!
    What host are you the use of? Can I am getting your associate link in your host?
    I desire my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  56. always i used to read smaller articles or reviews that also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this piece of writing
    which I am reading at this time.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *